College and home are very different. At college, you basically took care of yourself, set your own rules, and had to be responsible for your own actions. When you did some foolish and irresponsible, such as partying all night before an important exam, you generally had to suffer the consequences. However, even after such consequences, you had to decide not to party right before an exam. Outside of classwork and following the relaxed rules of your dorm, no one was enforcing any real rules for you, and they didn’t make demands on your time.
At home, even if you still take care of yourself, the rules are bound to change. It’s not your house, so you don’t get to make all the rules. It’s your parents’ house, and so you have to abide by their rules. And your parents will likely have very definite ideas about what you should and should not do.
Your parents may forget that you’ve been away and living on your own for some time. They might revert to treating you like a child. If this happens, don’t immediately panic. Remember that they are your parents, they love you, and they’re only trying to do what’s best for you. Evaluate the situation, and calmly discuss it with them.
One of the biggest causes of conflict for a student returning home from college is the notion of a curfew. Instead of screaming at your parents about how mature you are, approach the situation calmly. Remind them that you’ve been on your own for months, and you’ve always been responsible enough to come in at a reasonable hour (even if you haven’t been). Try to come to a compromise. Perhaps let them know exactly when you will be in, and if you’re going to be late, remember to call.
If you’re not going to come home at all, your parents should know. They probably don’t need to know all your business, but try not to leave them sitting at home worrying about you and what might have happened. If you’re going out, have the courtesy to let them know when you’ll be back, and especially if you’ll be coming back at all. It’s unbelievably rude to not come home for dinner when they’re expecting you.
When at college, perhaps you had overnight guests. Maybe your roommate didn’t mind, or maybe you didn’t have a roommate. At home, you have more than a roommate, you have parents. Be courteous, and don’t have anyone stay overnight unless your parents give their permission well beforehand. And if you suddenly decide you want to have a party, either clear it with your parents before inviting a single person, or host it somewhere else.
Avoid creating resentment in your own home. You’re not a guest, so don’t act like one. Pick up after yourself, do your own laundry, and don’t expect your parents to cook for you. This doesn’t mean you can’t participate in family meals, but don’t laze around on the couch all day and expect them to look after you. Your mother shouldn’t have to make you lunch every afternoon, especially when she has other things to do. Relieve the burden you might be placing on your parents and look after yourself. Perhaps even offer to help them out as well.
As an adult, it can be difficult to readjust to living with your parents. Talk to them if you have a problem, and let them know that they can talk to you. Stay calm, and remember that you’re trying to be a fully fledged adult, not a child. Act like an adult, and your parents will be more likely to treat you as such.
