Tips for Thowing Your School-Aged Child a Birthday Party

No matter how hard you try to avoid it, eventually your child will want to invite other kids over for a big party on their birthday. It's inevitable. Oh, sure, you can throw small family parties for a few years, but once your kid starts school, he will notice that other children are having parties. He'll even get invited to a few. Or a thousand, depending on how popular your child happens to be.

So what do you do? You give him that party, of course. You might resist for a little while, but eventually the dark black hole that is planning and hosting a children's birthday party will eventually suck you in. Before you get too far into the planning stage, however, keep these tips in mind. You might even find some of them useful. :)

1. Remember Who the Party is For--The party is not about YOU. It is about your child. This is not the time to relive your own childhood and throw the party you wish you had. If you loved My Little Pony but your child is more of a Star Wars fan, get the Star Wars napkins. It's not about you.
2. Don't Invite the Entire Class--Seriously, I've done this. It's always a mess. Not only do you end up with 30 kids all by yourself (because this is the one time no parents will stay during the party), but your kid will have less fun. A few good friends always results in more fun because those are the friends who mean the most. And you kid doesn't have to run around talking to 30 people, at least 10 of whom he doesn't really like. Keep it under 10 for maximum fun.
3. Don't Try to Be Super Healthy--I recently attended a party for a seven-year-old where the cake was gluten-free, sugar-free, and something-else-free. Even the birthday boy wouldn't eat it. And for lunch? Kale salad. Maybe two kids ate anything at all, and the birthday boy was not among them. Clearly he didn't enjoy these foods, so they weren't for his benefit. If your kid likes cheese pizza and chocolate cake, that's what you should serve. Sure, serve a fruit tray and a veggie tray, but don't overdo it. It's one day. And remember, the day is about birthday kid, not you.
4. Don't Stress Out Over Allergies--Look, I have a child with a life-threatening allergy, so I know how serious they are. But unless your child has allergies, don't worry about it. Please. I am horrified when a parent tells me they can't figure out what to feed my child. I'm careful. So is my son. He's not going to eat the cake if it's going to kill him. In fact, I probably fed him before we came. As long as you're not offended when he barely eats anything, we're fine. You don't need to accommodate every allergy under the sun. It's your child's birthday. Let him be the focus.
5. Let Kids Bring Presents--I went to another party for a little girl just over a week ago (my entire school year seems to be one party after another). At this party, the parents requested no presents. Great, right? Well, it didn't turn out that way. The birthday girl was sad. The guests didn't understand why they couldn't bring presents for their friend (they're still quite young, by the way). The entire party seemed lacking. Were the parents happy? Sure. The birthday girl's dad didn't have to haul all the presents home and the parents of the guests saved $20. But remember the part about it not being all about you? Kids want presents. I usually ask guests not to spend more than $10 on a gift, but banning them outright may result in tears.
6. Stick to Your Budget--As a mom, I've blown a lot of money on birthday parties. I've also planned parties that stuck to a strict budget. And you know what? The kids enjoyed all the parties. The knight party that cost me $1000? They loved it. But the Star Wars party that only cost $150? They loved that too. I've learned the hard way that spending more money doesn't mean it's more fun. Kids do not care.
7. End the Party On Time--I've been to two separate parties this year that did not end on time. At the first, I arrived at the appointed pickup time and they weren't even close to done. So I went and did my shopping. An hour later they still weren't done. An hour after that, I had to haul my son out of there (because we had another party to get to) and they still hadn't done the cake thing. At the second party, I stayed to help the mom out. The party was three hours. Supposedly. At the three-hour mark, they'd only just started the magic show. Never mind cake or presents. For the love of all that is holy, end your party on time! It will help avoid tears.
8. Ask For Help--If you're only having three guests, this probably isn't a problem. But if you're having more than five extra children at the party, you'll want an extra pair of hands. And eyes. Surely one of your mom friends doesn't mind staying to help you out. Ask.
9. Write a Schedule--Not in stone, but a quick little list in your pocket can help keep the party going, and help it end on time. It'll also remind you not to skip anything. Because we all know how cranky the birthday boy will get if he suddenly remembers he wanted to play that bean bag toss game he found at the dollar store a month ago. Write it down.
10. Have Fun--The party may be all about the birthday kid, but that's no reason not to have fun. There's nothing wrong with Mom playing a few of the games, eating a slice of cake, or laughing with kids and adults alike. If you're having fun, your kid will have fun (usually). Give it a shot.

It doesn't really matter if you have the party in your house or rent a hall. You can go to the zoo, the bowling alley, or the local mini-golf course. Or you can have it in your own backyard. Just make a plan, relax, and have fun.