Friday, July 4, 2025

Screen Time Sanity – Realistic Limits That Actually Work

Let’s be honest: screen time gets a really bad rap in the parenting world. Spend five minutes in a mom group and you’ll find someone declaring that kids shouldn’t have any screen time, ever. That the TV is rotting their brains. That iPads are turning toddlers into zombies. That “back in my day” we played with sticks and imagination and liked it.

You know what else we didn’t have back then? A global pandemic, remote schooling, constant work-from-home demands, or the intense pressure of 24/7 parenting with limited support. So let’s start by throwing a little compassion into the screen time conversation—because this isn’t about guilt. It’s about balance.

The Truth About Screen Time

We don’t live in a screen-free world. Technology is part of our kids’ reality—and it’s not all bad. Educational shows teach letters and numbers. Interactive games build problem-solving and motor skills. And yes, sometimes a quiet cartoon is the only thing standing between you and a full-blown parental meltdown.

But just because screens aren’t inherently evil doesn’t mean they should be unlimited.

The key is intentional use—setting boundaries, staying engaged, and understanding the why behind your screen time decisions.

What Screen Time Looks Like in a Real-Life Household

In our house, screen time isn’t a taboo topic. We don’t act like it’s a forbidden treat or an inevitable sin. It’s a tool—one we use with intention, and one we monitor closely. Here’s what that actually looks like:

  • Set time limits that vary by age, activity, and behavior. Sometimes it’s 30 minutes after school. Sometimes it’s a movie night with popcorn and blankets. Other times it’s a hard “no,” especially if screen time has been turning our kids into tiny rage monsters.
  • Pick quality content. Not all screen time is equal. We steer away from mindless toy unboxing videos or content with endless ads and no educational value. Instead, we look for shows and games that teach something—social skills, letters, science, empathy. And we watch together, at least some of the time.
  • Use screen time as a bridge, not a babysitter. Do we sometimes hand over the tablet so we can make dinner or pee in peace? Absolutely. But we try not to use it as a constant placeholder for parenting. Screens are a break—not a substitute.
  • Talk about what they see. If our kids watch a show, we ask questions. “Why do you think that character felt sad?” “What would you do if that happened to you?” It turns passive screen time into a shared experience.

How to Set Limits Without Losing Your Mind

Setting screen time rules doesn’t have to be a constant battle. Here are a few tricks that actually work (most of the time):

1. Use timers.

Let the timer be the bad guy. Set a kitchen timer or use the one built into the tablet. When it goes off, screen time is done—no negotiation. The timer said so.

2. Create a screen schedule.

Have “screen days” and “no-screen days” or certain hours where screens are allowed. The structure helps kids know what to expect and removes a lot of the whining.

3. Earned screen time.

Incentivize screen time with other activities. “When your homework is done, you can have 30 minutes of TV.” Or, “Let’s clean up the toys and then pick a show.”

4. Model good habits.

This one’s hard, but important. If we’re constantly glued to our phones, it sends a mixed message. Kids notice more than we think.

5. Replace, don’t just remove.

If you’re cutting back on screen time, replace it with something. Coloring, crafts, outside play, audiobooks, puzzles, fort-building, baking—anything that captures attention and doesn’t require charging.

When Screen Time Becomes a Problem

Sometimes, even monitored screen time causes issues. Maybe your child becomes super cranky after watching certain shows. Maybe they start refusing to do anything else. Maybe screen time battles turn into full-scale wars.

If that’s happening, it’s time to reassess. Not all kids react the same way. Some are more sensitive to overstimulation. Some shows are more dysregulating than others. It’s okay to say, “This isn’t working right now,” and take a break.

And don’t be afraid to bring in professional help if needed. There’s no shame in getting support from a pediatrician, occupational therapist, or counselor—especially if screen struggles are affecting your child’s mood or behavior long-term.

Let’s Talk About the Guilt

We need to stop pretending that a little screen time makes you a bad parent.

You’re not ruining your kid because you turned on Bluey so you could drink coffee before it got cold. You’re not failing because your child plays a math game on the iPad while you clean the kitchen. You’re not doing it wrong because your house doesn’t look like a Waldorf Pinterest board.

Parenting is hard. Screens are part of the modern toolbox. What matters is how you use them—not that you use them.

Final Thoughts

Realistic screen time limits aren’t about banning screens or feeling guilty every time your child touches a tablet. They’re about making thoughtful choices, staying involved, and finding what works for your family—not someone else’s.

You know your kids better than anyone else. You get to decide what’s healthy, what’s manageable, and what makes your life just a little bit easier.

And if that means an episode of Paw Patrol while you shower in peace? That’s not failure. That’s smart parenting.

Friday, June 27, 2025

Mom Brain Is Real – And Here’s How I Cope With It

There’s a moment in every mom’s life when she finds her coffee in the microwave… from yesterday. Or she walks into a room and immediately forgets why she’s there. Or calls every child in the house by the wrong name—including the dog—before landing on the right one. Welcome to the glamorous world of Mom Brain—population: all of us.

Let’s just get this out of the way: Mom Brain is real. It’s not imaginary. It’s not just an excuse we use when we forget it’s Pajama Day at school (again). It’s a very real, very common side effect of having your brain hijacked by tiny humans and their endless snack needs.

I used to be able to juggle deadlines, hold intelligent conversations, and remember where I parked the car. Now I’m lucky if I can finish a sentence without being interrupted by a shriek from the other room and a suspicious crash. So if you, too, find yourself wandering aimlessly through the house with one sock on and a sippy cup in your purse, just know: you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

Let’s talk about what causes Mom Brain, how it shows up, and most importantly, how I manage to stay (mostly) functional despite it.


What Exactly Is Mom Brain?

Scientifically speaking? It’s a combination of sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, mental overload, and the constant state of low-key crisis management that defines motherhood. Emotionally speaking? It’s like your brain has 82 browser tabs open at once, and you have no idea where the music is coming from.

There’s a lot of talk about “baby brain” during pregnancy, but nobody really warns you that it doesn’t magically go away once you give birth. In fact, it sometimes sticks around for years. YEARS. You know why? Because you don’t stop needing to remember all the things. You just add new things to remember on top of the old things. Doctor appointments. Birthday parties. Whether the dog got fed. Whether you got fed.


What It Looks Like in Real Life

  • Walking into a room with a purpose… and walking back out again with a handful of Legos and no memory of what the purpose was.
  • Asking your child where your phone is because you were using it… to look for your phone.
  • Saying “Just a minute!” 47 times and then forgetting what they asked for in the first place.
  • Calling your kid by your sister’s name. Or your cat’s name. Or your own name.
  • Putting the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge. (Just me?)

It’s not that we’re not smart. We are. It’s just that our brains are overclocked 24/7 and running on a system that thinks goldfish crackers count as a complete meal.


How I Cope (Most Days)

I wish I could tell you I found the secret—some magical formula that makes it all better. But truthfully? Coping with Mom Brain is less about fixing it and more about working with it.

1. Write it down. Immediately. On everything.

Sticky notes, phone alarms, whiteboards, the back of my hand—if it’s not written down, it’s gone. I have accepted that my memory is no longer a reliable place to store anything. I leave myself little notes like “CHECK LAUNDRY” and “YOU HAVE A CHILD IN THE BATHTUB.” Post-it notes are my love language now.

2. Embrace the calendar.

I live and die by my calendar app. If it’s not on the calendar, it isn’t happening. Soccer practice? On the calendar. Garbage day? On the calendar. The thing where I promised to bring gluten-free cupcakes to school even though I don’t know how to bake gluten-free cupcakes? Also on the calendar… with a reminder the day before so I have time to panic.

3. Prioritize sleep (as much as possible).

Okay, this one is hard. I know. Sleep feels like a luxury, especially if you’ve got a baby, a night owl, or a child who randomly wakes you up at 3 a.m. to tell you they can’t find their sock. But when I do manage to sleep, I notice a huge difference in how foggy my brain is. So I try. And when I can’t, I forgive myself and drink a lot of coffee.

4. Lean into the funny.

There are two options: laugh or cry. And frankly, I don’t have time to redo my makeup. So I laugh. I make jokes about calling the dog by my kid’s name. I laugh when I find the TV remote in the fridge. Because if I don’t laugh, I might spiral—and nobody wants that.

5. Ask for help.

This one took me a while. I thought I had to do it all, remember it all, be it all. But asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s teamwork. If I forget the dentist appointment, I’m not ashamed to call and reschedule. If I can’t remember what I went to the store for, I call home and ask. Sometimes, I even ask my kid. They usually remember better than I do.

6. Lower the bar.

The bar for success used to be color-coded binders and a meal plan. Now? It’s keeping the kids alive and only microwaving my coffee twice before drinking it. If I make it to bedtime with everyone fed, hugged, and relatively clean, that’s a win. The rest? Optional.


It’s Not Just You

Mom Brain can feel isolating. It can feel like everyone else has it all together while you’re just trying to remember where you put your keys (hint: check the freezer). But let me tell you something important: this is normal. You are not failing. You are just a mom.

A mom whose brain is doing overtime while also juggling emotions, logistics, and probably a handful of Cheerios. A mom whose mental to-do list is so long it wraps around the block. A mom who cares deeply, tries hard, and still sometimes forgets what day it is.

And you know what? That’s okay.


One Last Thing

If you made it all the way to the end of this post without getting distracted by a tiny voice yelling “Mooooom!”—I salute you. If you did get distracted three times and came back to finish later? I see you. You’re my people.

Mom Brain is real. But so is your strength, your humor, and your resilience. You’re doing great. And if all else fails, check the microwave. Your coffee’s probably in there.

Friday, June 20, 2025

The Myth of the Perfect Mom – Why “Good Enough” Is More Than Enough

Let’s be honest: if you’ve ever sat on your couch, surrounded by laundry, wondering if Goldfish crackers count as lunch (they do), then this post is for you.

There’s a myth that creeps into our heads early in motherhood—sometimes even before the baby arrives. It whispers that we’re supposed to be perfect. Perfectly patient, perfectly organized, perfectly dressed, with perfectly behaved kids. And while we’re at it, we should be cooking organic meals, running a side hustle, attending every school event, and still somehow having time for self-care (ha!).

Spoiler alert: That mom doesn’t exist.
And even if she did, I’m not entirely sure I’d want to hang out with her.

Where the Myth Comes From

We’re not born believing we have to be perfect. It’s something we pick up along the way—from Instagram moms with spotless houses and matching outfits, from parenting books written in a tone that feels suspiciously judgy, from that one woman at daycare pickup who swears her toddler has never had a tantrum (sure, Jan).

It doesn’t help that society tends to reward moms who “do it all.” We applaud the mom who bakes from scratch, volunteers at school, and looks fabulous doing it. But the truth is, we’re all fighting our own battles. Some of us are just better at hiding the mess.

Perfection Is a Moving Target

Here’s the problem with trying to be perfect: even if you hit all your goals one day, the bar moves the next. You finally make a homemade dinner? Now you’re expected to make it healthy, Instagram-worthy, and kid-approved. Your kid made it to school on time three days in a row? Great—now people are asking why they don’t have extra-curriculars.

The more you try to be perfect, the less satisfied you’ll feel.

Because perfection isn’t the goal. Survival is. Connection is. Raising tiny humans into decent people is. And those things don’t require perfect. They require love, patience (sometimes), and an endless supply of wet wipes.

The Power of “Good Enough”

Let me say this loud for the moms in the back:
“Good enough” is not giving up. It’s letting go of unrealistic expectations.

It’s choosing your battles. Maybe you yelled this morning—but you also apologized and hugged it out. That’s good enough. Maybe dinner was frozen chicken nuggets—but everyone ate and no one cried. That’s good enough. Maybe you didn’t make it to story time, but your kid knows they’re safe and loved. That’s more than enough.

Kids don’t need perfect moms. They need present ones. They need real ones. Ones who teach them how to handle mistakes, how to be flexible, how to bounce back from a bad day.

What Happens When We Let Go of Perfect

When we stop chasing perfection, something amazing happens—we start actually enjoying motherhood.

You stop feeling like a failure for skipping the dishes and start celebrating the fort you built in the living room. You stop comparing your kid’s messy handwriting to someone else’s Instagram-ready craft project and start noticing the pride in their face when they show you their work. You breathe easier. You laugh more.

You realize that your version of motherhood—messy, loud, unpredictable—is beautiful in its own way.

Real Talk: My Own “Good Enough” Moments

Let me be completely real with you. I have:

  • Forgotten pajama day and sent my kid in jeans.
  • Fed them popcorn for dinner because I could not deal with one more dish.
  • Cried in the bathroom after losing my patience, then gone back out and tried again.
  • Pretended not to notice that they hadn't brushed their teeth, because I just didn’t have the energy to argue.

And guess what? My kids still love me. They still think I’m the best mom ever (most of the time). Because they’re not keeping score. They’re not looking for perfection. They’re looking for connection.

A Better Goal: Being a “Real” Mom

Instead of aiming for perfect, aim for real.

Real moms laugh. Real moms lose it sometimes. Real moms admit when they’re wrong. Real moms ask for help. Real moms love their kids fiercely, even when they’re hiding in the pantry with a cookie they don’t want to share.

And that realness? That’s what your kids will remember. That’s what will stick with them long after they’ve outgrown the laundry pile and the bedtime battles.

Final Thoughts

So to all the moms out there feeling like they’re not doing enough: you are. You are doing so much. And you’re doing it well—even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Let’s stop chasing perfect. Let’s embrace “good enough.” Let’s redefine what success looks like in motherhood.

Because the truth is, you’re already enough. You always were.

Friday, June 13, 2025

I Love My Kids But I Also Need a Break – Let’s Talk About Mom Guilt


Let’s start with the obvious: I adore my kids. I would move mountains for them, jump in front of buses, and survive on nothing but cold chicken nuggets and juice box backwash if I had to.

But I also sometimes want to run away to a cabin in the woods and just not hear anyone say “Mom?” for 24 straight hours.

This, dear reader, is the paradox of modern motherhood. The push and pull of loving your children with every fiber of your being… while also desperately needing a moment to just breathe, blink, and maybe pee without an audience.

And yet when that need for space bubbles up, it often comes hand-in-hand with a deeply rooted, sneaky little monster: mom guilt.

Let’s talk about it.


What Is Mom Guilt?

If you’re a mom, you’ve probably felt it. That creeping sense that you’re not doing enough, not being enough, or not enjoying motherhood enough.

It shows up when:

  • You let the kids watch too much screen time.
  • You’re counting down the minutes until bedtime.
  • You look forward to going to work because it’s quieter there.
  • You want to do something (anything) that doesn’t involve tiny humans.
  • You go on a mom’s night out and instead of relaxing, spend the evening worrying you’re a bad parent for needing it.

Mom guilt thrives on unrealistic expectations. Somewhere along the line, “being a good mom” got confused with “being an always-available, endlessly patient, constantly sacrificing, Pinterest-perfect superhero.”

Spoiler alert: That’s not sustainable. It’s not healthy. And it’s not fair to you or your kids.


Why We Feel Guilty for Needing a Break

The truth is, the guilt often comes from a place of love. We care so much, we want to be the best we can be. We measure ourselves against what we think good parenting is supposed to look like, and we panic when we fall short.

But it’s also cultural. For decades, moms have been expected to be the default parent, the emotional anchor, the household manager, the boo-boo kisser, and the tantrum whisperer.

Even when we have partners who help (or try to), the mental load tends to stay with us. And when we don’t have help? That load is heavier than a Costco-sized box of diapers during a growth spurt.

We’ve internalized the idea that needing rest somehow means we’re not grateful for our kids. That if we’re overwhelmed, we’re failing. But none of that is true.


Let’s Redefine What Makes a Good Mom

A good mom is not someone who never takes a break.

A good mom is someone who knows when she needs one—and takes it before she snaps, yells, or burns out completely.

Let’s say that again:
Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids.

Would you tell your best friend she was a bad mom for needing alone time? Would you tell a fellow mom she’s selfish for wanting a hot cup of coffee without interruption? No?

Then why do we do it to ourselves?


Real Talk: What Breaks Can Look Like (And Why They Matter)

Breaks don’t always mean spa days and weekend getaways. Sometimes they’re 10 stolen minutes in the bathroom with a chocolate bar. Sometimes they’re a walk alone with headphones and zero tiny voices asking for snacks. Sometimes they’re choosing to scroll your phone instead of cleaning the kitchen right away.

And that’s okay.

Here are some small but powerful ways to give yourself a break:

  • Nap when they nap (yes, it’s cliché, but naps are magic).
  • Say no to extra responsibilities you can’t manage.
  • Outsource what you can—order pizza, use grocery pickup, or trade babysitting with a friend.
  • Set quiet time boundaries—even toddlers can be trained to have “rest time” with books or toys.
  • Don’t over-schedule—your kids don’t need 17 activities a week. Boredom builds creativity.
  • Ask for help—from your partner, your mom, your neighbor. You don’t have to do it all alone.

The Truth About Guilt: It Doesn’t Mean You’re Wrong

You might still feel guilty even after reading all this. That’s normal. The goal isn’t to never feel mom guilt—it’s to recognize it when it shows up and not let it control you.

When guilt creeps in, ask yourself:

  • Am I doing something harmful, or just something for me?
  • Will taking this break help me come back calmer, happier, and more present?
  • Would I judge another mom for this same decision?

Chances are, the answers will show you that guilt is lying to you.


Your Kids Don’t Need a Perfect Mom. They Need a Happy One.

When we show our children that it’s okay to rest, okay to ask for help, and okay to take time to ourselves, we’re teaching them balance. We’re showing them boundaries. We’re modeling self-respect.

And what better lesson is there than that?

So take the nap. Lock the door. Go to Target alone and buy snacks you won’t share. Dance it out in the kitchen with headphones on while your kids destroy the living room for the 47th time.

You are not a bad mom. You are a human being.

You’re doing your best—and that’s more than enough.


Let’s Make This a Safe Space

If you’ve ever felt guilty for needing a break, I see you. I am you. And you’re not alone.

Drop a comment below and tell me:

  • What helps you recharge?
  • What’s your biggest source of mom guilt?
  • What’s one thing you wish someone had told you about taking care of yourself as a parent?

Let’s talk about it. Laugh about it. Cry about it if we need to. And above all—let’s remind each other that we’re doing okay.

Even if we’re not ultimate.